Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
