i don't plan on having that self control this summer
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
