I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
