Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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