You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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