You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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