i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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