i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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