doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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