He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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