So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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