By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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