Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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