Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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