I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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