I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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