porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm at about main and main street
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
