I looked at my own cervix.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
