felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There r osticjed everywhere
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to calm my uterus...