This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Actions speak louder than pants.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
