Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
