i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
