When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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