Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
