guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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