i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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