We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
