there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
