Farmville is her only friend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
