look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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