Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
