I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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