Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
