Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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