So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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