Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
