I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
