Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
