The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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