life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
