I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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