I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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