something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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