so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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