She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
