i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let's get the cat blown out
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