If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
