yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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