You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
