Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i think my cat just said my name.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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