And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
