When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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