Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
