Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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