It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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