Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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