Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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