"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
