I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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