Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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