I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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