I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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