I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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