At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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