also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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