Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
